My Lost Hat

My schedule over the last few weeks has been hectic, including cross-country travels presenting my symposium on alien cow probing.  As a result, my post office box was over-filled with correspondence I am just getting to now.

Back in March I was distraught because I lost my hat and wrote this letter.





Belleayre Mountain

PO Box 313

Highmount, NY 12441


Dear Sir or Madam:

My name is Kenneth Snipps and I need your help.

Recently, I was at your ski resort with my associate Norbert Pendleton and lost my ski hat.  Do you have it?  I always make a practice of having all my contact information in my hat in case an eagle or other predatory bird takes it off my head or picks it up off the ground, which is what I believe happened, when I visited your ski resort.

Therefore, could a hardy ski patrol officer or some low level functionary who does not know any better climb up to the bird’s aerie and recover it at great personal risk, and send it back?  This would be much appreciated.

This is the part where if I was a girl I would put a big kiss on the letter in lipstick.  Since I am not a girl and do not own any lipstick, I had my friend Tanya from Downtown do it for me instead.  I hope you don’t mind.

I have to go because I did not go to college.

Thank you for reading and responding to my letter.


Your friend,











The wonderful people at Belleayre Natures Theme Park sent me this…

Hats Letter

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KennyMy Lost Hat