That means it is my responsibility to distribute and monitor ice cubes for all the people in attendance. But my duties do not end there.
I am also required to track the melting rate of all ice sculptures at the party, and to remove any that begin to look like a phallus. Mr. Deavers was clear about that. “I don’t want the table decorated with frozen dicks,” he said.
Please don’t tell my mom I used a bad word.
Although he will not admit it, Mr. Deavers is very nervous about this party. It will be the first time Zack Flanders returns to Casa del Deavers since the New Years party when he had a sword fight with Mr. Deavers on the roof of the observatory.
Mr. Deavers has informed me, if that happens again, he plans to use me as a human shield. As a result I will be wearing one of my lead-lined aprons throughout the party.
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